Aku tak faham apa tujuan kebanyakan wanita zaman sekarang memilih untuk berpakaian kurang kain lantas menyalahkan dan menuduh kaum lelaki yang mengambil masa few seconds too long to stare at whatever there to be stared sebagai tak bermoral, berpendidikan rendah, kolot, tak bertamadun, jakun, tak pernah tengok perempuan, etc.
Panas. OK. Aku terima alasan tersebut sebab aku sendiri pada kebanyakan masa hanya bersinglet dan berseluar pendek ke sana ke mari. Tapi aku pakai kena pada masa. Tak semua hari cerah dan panasnya mampu mengundang strok haba.
You know what you give to guys when you're wearing those kind of outfit?
A boner.
Tempat awam + a hard-on = hok aloh.
Itulah tempat di mana orang akan berbisik dan menjatuhkan hukum kepada mereka yang berpakaian kurang ini kepada 1 kategori: a whore. You heard me.
I myself don't give a fuck about what you wear or what you do, kenyataan di atas adalah pendapat umum yang aku sendiri tanpa rela terpaksa telan dan angguk agar tak disisih dari kumpulan major yang live the life as it is tanpa perlu buat atau pakai sesuatu yang radikal untuk meraih perhatian.
Seriously, what kind of attention you guys are craving for?
Dicks? I certainly hope so. Cos this will perhaps reduce the moral decay case of rape. Tiada lagi laporan kes rogol sebab, dari apa yang aku faham, you're the one who triggered male natural act of beastiality: stick their dicks in any hole there is. Kamu berjaya menyelamatkan negara ini dari menduduki carta atas statistik jenayah. Seriously, you've done such a great deed to this country. God bless your mom's uterus.
Amen.
Aku merancang untuk pergi bercuti awal bulan depan. Pulau. Belum tahu lagi mana. I guess I'm gonna write down list of names and pick it randomly. Cadangan asal: seorang. Panggilan telefon semalam menjadikan trip tersebut completely homoerotic sebab..well..2 lelaki.
Perlu sesuatu untuk meneutralkan keadaan.
"Invite some women with us."
"Like who? Your mama?"
"Bodoh binatang sial kau ni! Kau kan ada list of perempuan yang rapat dengan kau. Go for it lah."
"Sure. Those are my friends, idiot! Only I can screw with em. Not you. Go create a parallel universe and start a new life."
"Ok. I ask my girlfriend if she wants to come along."
"Oh fuck no."
Kenapa perlu bawa teman wanita ke syurga wanita? Heck, semua tempat adalah syurga wanita. Lombong bijih timah?--you bet your ass. Landasan keretapi?--Lord have mercy. Tapak pelupusan sampah?--Uhh nasty and dirty. In short, they're everywhere. But still, 2 lelaki.
Apa aktiviti nanti? Cross sword? Ughh.
Scratch that girlfriend sucks at vacation, aku suruh dia bawa sekali. He might not have the chance to sleep around because I gotta admit, whether he likes or not, his girlfriend will always tag along under any circumstances.
Kau ikatlah, garilah dia, she'll always find a way to break free and finally, attach herself like some sort of parasitic plant to my dearest friend.
Aku dah lari jauh dari benda yang aku nak taip.
So here goes, men everywhere. Heary heary heary!
Now that you know how those fine booties look like, where's the fun?
The fun in mating is the process before you get to the stage where you actually fornicate. The search for the real beauty, the quest of great love making lies beneath the secret of how your mate looks like. You know squat about how they look? No biggie. And don't bother at all cos those forbidden stuff make the love making process much, much more juicer than you thought.
You imagining shit, and the result after you brought down all those covers isn't what you expected. It could result "wham! Does heaven missing an angel cos you got nice pair of cans." or "huh? Is that it?". Mengikut statistik, kebanyakannya berpuas hati. Jarang dapat apa yang kamu bayangkan sebab, hey, ianya tertutup dan mengundang seribu satu misteri bukan?
You know what gives me a real hard-on? Woman in baju kurung and veil. Fuck, that's hot. Both literal and metaphorical. Kamu akan bertanya pada diri sendiri, macam manalah rupa perempuan ni minus all the "covers"? Kamu tahu jawapannya?
Mestilah kamu tahu, you big time chronic masturbator that masturbate to tons of 3GPs that featuring female in "covers".
