I did not pull a rubber chicken outta my ass.
With my physical stature and my increasing appetite, I'm a joke.
I'm talking about nasi setinggi 3/4 jengkal. Ayam 8 ketul. Daging asal boleh muat. Buah di pinggan lain. Kek coklat juga di pinggan lain. Umbut kelapa dibuat hiasan terakhir yang sudahnya aku campak kat longkang.
On my way to find a seat, mestilah kena berasak-asak dengan orang yang baru nak datang. People that came from different direction, most of them will stop, stare and mengumpat. One older lady clearly said right to my face, "jang, ni ekau apo kono ni? Tak makan tigo ari ko?"
And I threw her over the fence. That old hag.
All in all, I got a great time at the wedding. Dapat berjumpa ramai kawan yang dah lama tak dengar khabar and stuff. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was the one who they were celebrating, not the newly weds.
And best of all, I got approximately 10 girls who can't get their hands off of me. 2 of them already engaged. 1 married and the others just whores waiting to be fucked.
I even got the engaged one to literally threatened to call off her wedding if her man can't be like me in a year.
It went something like this, "look at him. Now look at yourself. Done? Okay, be like him. Or else Imma fuck him right here right now."
And that ended my friendship with about 20 person. I didn't give a fuck. Aku sendawa kecil untuk membuka ruang dan sambung makan sambil gadis di sebelah aku memberi a hand job. Lucky she brought her hand lotion along. Brrr, shit was nice.