Selasa, Mac 22, 2011

Dua Sudu Kecil Malapetaka

Ada sebab kenapa sesetengah produk melarang pengguna mengambil dos berlebihan. Salah satu sebab dia adalah ini.

I was referring to me.

Sekarang jam dah pukul 1.40 pagi kala perenggan ini ditaip. And I don't feel like going to sleep. I just can't. Took a couple of flu pills and half a bottle of cough meds and still I'm wide awake.

Produk sial ini adalah Hemo-Rage Black keluaran syarikat Nutrex. Produk pra-latihan yang menambah stamina dan somewhat your strength. I've been lifting cows instead of dumbbells as a result of using that thing.

Now, the maximum dose for daily usage is just one small scoop. Scoop susu baby and that's it. And you'll be working your ass off lifting unimaginable weights up to 4 to 6 hours long. Holy shit.

Aku dah imun dengan hanya satu sudu. Didn't feel shit, couldn't lift more than an auntie could. Then I figured it must be the right point of time to double up the dosage. I was right. Last week on Sunday I tried it. It was fucking amazing. It's like having sex for the first time. Sentiasa cemas dan kelam kabut. Semua serba tak kena. Peluh sentiasa keluar. Di waktu pagi aku cuba. So sex in the morning, umh! Nothing's better than a wake up sex. The potent smell of each other's breath. Sisa daging semalam terselit di celah geraham. Uh, sangat erotik.

Tak menjadi masalah sebab waktu tu pagi. Hari Ahad pulak tu. Who the fuck works on a Sunday? So I trained for no longer than 5 hours. Gila babi. Tak pernah seumur hidup aku mengadap satu kerja lebih dari 5 minit.

Dan hari ini adalah Selasa. Beberapa jam yang lepas adalah hari Isnin. Pada Isnin jam 8.30 malam, aku teguk air berperisa asid hidroklorik dan sedikit campuran tembikai, artificially flavored, without thinking about the consequences. It's a Monday, how much worse can it be?

I was wrong.

I forgot I took a day off from work on Wednesday which means I have to work today. Ah sudah. Terkirap aku nampak gayanya. And this thing has caffeine level that can send you straight into hell if you're a kid at the age of 8 and you drank it instead of, what the fuck kids drink today anyway? Jus epal. Cos it's pure sin to kill yourself. It's suicide. You know this thing can kill you but you still do it anyway. And what better punishment for someone so ignorant other than the deep fiery hell?

I'm gonna try something more powerful than sleep medications which is pray.